Here is an article in which I answer the ten questions I am asked most often:

 

 

And here are the other stories I've done.  They're not all there, but I'm adding them as I can.

 

 

The Star Wars Special Edition DVD (now with even more changes!): Derek takes a look at the new Star Wars DVD set and longs for the old one that never saw the light of day.

 

 

Here's where you can read each part:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It Takes One To Know One - Mom always said that you could tell a lot about a person by the friends he keeps.  If this turns out to be true, I'm probably going to hell.  Here's why.

 

"...The Best Day of My Life..." - For a change of pace, I added a short horror story I wrote when I was twelve.  I edited it and made a few minor changes, but it's basically the same as it was when I first wrote it.  Please give it a look.

 

Who Is "They"? - The Conspiracy Revealed! and The Further Investigation of "They".  These are in-depth articles chronicling my attempt to find out just who everyone's talking about when they say "You know what They say..."

 

The Letter My first attempt at something very unlike my usual writing.  Instead of humor, I tried to do something a little more emotional and serious.  Please give it a look.

 

Making Movies an Event Again... When was the last time you saw a film that was an EVENT?

 

I Was A First-time Father The story of my first child's birth, as seen through my eyes.

 

I Was Not Quite A Teenage Father (The Second Time Around) The story of my second-born as seen through the eyes of a father.

 

Memories of the Fourth More stories about my childhood.  This time with explosions!

 

Moron in the Workplace My life as a working stiff...

 

Here's Gum In Your Eye! A painfully embarrassing story from my childhood.

 

How To Be a Rock and Roll GAWD! A little background for my life in music.

 

Dust Bunnies in My Brain Just clearing out my brain to make room for new stuff.

 

Pop-Tarts and You: The Mystery Unraveled! My attempt to discover the answer to one of life's mysteries.

 

What Does This Button Do? An attempt at a humorous advice column.  (Hey, they're not going to ALL be winners...)

 

Giant Naked People An overview of Renaissance art.

 

Attack of the Creepy Crawling Beast from Hell Confronting my inner wuss.

 

Dog Food? You're Soaking In It! What would YOU be willing to sit in a bath tub with?

 

Could Somebody Please Explain This? Not long ago, I discovered a beef jerky store.

 

Uncovering The Mystery: Beef Jerky II Finally getting up the nerve to talk to the owner.

 

Getting Hitched: Outside Looking In My adventures as a "best man" for my friend's wedding.

 

Get Naked! A Look at Nudity in Films The title, I think, is self-explanitory.

 

 

Not-So-Supermodel! Kathy Ireland -- is that REALLY her voice?

 

What Would We Do Without Women? The differences between men and women, using movies as a reference point.

 

An Interview With Death Going head-to-head with the Ultimate reality.

 

 

Mom (also known as "Baby Chicken Lips") A serious piece about my very closest friend.  God, I miss her.

 

 

Whom Shall I Kill? The one that started it all.

 

Whom Shall I Kill? II: Electric Boogaloo This second list was written by request from the readers at Thought Cafe, who wanted their own special list.  It was also the first time I used any feedback or suggestions from readers.

 

Return of the Son of Whom Shall I Kill? Part III More suggestions from readers, and less fat!

 

Whom Shall I Kill? Part IV: Kill Harder Delving further into the evil side of my readers.  I used my own evil side, but that sort of thing is a given, I would think.

 

Whom Shall I Kill? Part V: The Undiscovered Country The final list of the series (so far--there could be more if I were suddenly inspired).

 

Keep an eye out for more articles as I add them.  I also intend to include several pieces that have not been posted or published anywhere else.

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