Derek: You're from PA...

Noodles: Yes, PA in all its beautiful, mountainous glory.

Derek: Been there myself. Why did you move to Michigan?

Noodles: Well, let's see. I was attending Kutztown University (a college near Allentown, PA). I had been there for a year and a half. I ended up on a permanent Spring Break. I moved to Michigan because my mother lived here. So, I figured I had nothing to lose. There are a lot of gaps in there but that's basically it.

Derek: Fair enough. Is your mother from here?

Noodles: Nope. She is also from PA East siiiide!

Derek: (Laughing.) Okay. And then, once you came to Michigan, you decided to work at Foresight. What were you thinking?!?

Noodles: Well, it didn't happen exactly like that.

Derek: Do tell...

Noodles: I had moved to Michigan. I was here for exactly 24 hours and went to a temp service to seek employment (the "crack whore" thing wasn't working out). I was placed at LDM Technologies and worked there for a year and a half. I left there and had various other factory-rat-type jobs. I then realized that wasn't for me. I took some time off. I went back to the temp service and they placed me at good old Foresight. I have been there ever since.

Derek: And we're better for it...

Noodles: Awww shucks!

Derek: You've got a musical background. Discuss. How many instruments do you play?

Noodles: Ah, Civil War. It's neither "civil" nor a "war". Oh, a two-part question. Well, as a wee tot I played Viola for a time. Well, exactly a year. I was quite good for a grade schooler, but gave it up. I think I had better things to do at the time. Like watch cartoons. I then fell in love with the guitar at age twelve. I saved up money and bought my own. My dad wasn't convinced I would keep up with it so he would not help me buy my first one. I took lessons for a year. I then realized I could play by ear. So I said, "Screw the lessons, I have my own method." I have been playing ever since. I was in chorus in high school for three years. Ah, the harmonies of Christmas songs! Seriously, I learned a lot then. I have always wanted to learn the banjo. Probably so I could get a straw hat, fake buckteeth, and have a piece of wheat dangling between the gap in my fake buckteeth.

Derek: Ooh... Sexy... And what sort of music do you prefer to play?

Noodles: Hmm, let's see. I have an acoustic and electric. I find it fascinating to learn a song on acoustic because of the breakdown of the song. It is raw and bare. Then when you transfer it to electric it is like buttah! I guess I play songs that I like at the time. If I had to categorize it would be "alternative rock," but alternative to what? Anyhoo, I also think learning classical songs on acoustic is beautiful and time consuming...

Derek: Extremely time consuming, but definitely worth it. When I first learned to fingerpick, it was all I did for the longest time. But enough about me! This is about you! You told me that you, your sister, and your brother played together. Ever get out and play anywhere? Parties and that sort of thing?

Noodles: Well, my sister could have been an accomplished bassist if she stuck with it. Her booming social life became more important. My brother on the other hand still plays his drums to this day. When we were younger, I remember many a night he would play late on school nights in the basement. However, it sounded like the drums were set up by my bed... But I digress... No, we never did all play together. I did have a very brief stint with my brother in a band. We went to a couple of practices, but I wasn't into what they were playing at the time. I do recall a time at a local place where a band was playing... They were between sets and my sister said, "You should play..." so I picked it up and was just playing like I would in my room and a crowd started to gather. The boys were especially impressed. I think the sight of a chick with a guitar is interesting to them for some reason...My bro, sis and I would put down some cheesy 80's hair-metal songs on a four-track that my brother had purchased. Does that answer your question?

Derek: Sure does... Do you have a tape of the songs? I'd love to hear that... As for "the sight of a chick playing guitar" being interesting, it is, because you don't see a lot of that, especially if they play well.

Noodles: Hmmm, I used to but I think it got lost in the moves I think my brother has a copy. I will see if I can get one for you. Yes, I agree it is interesting... It is more common nowadays.

Derek: Okay. Moving on... What else do you do with your free time?

Noodles: I enjoy reading, writing, long walks on the beach... (Laughing.) Seriously, I do like reading, watching movies, hanging out with friends. I enjoy the occasional drinky-poo. I enjoy philosophical conversations, battling of wits, playing the devil's advocate, and laughing until my belly hurts...that about sums it up.

Derek: And a good list it is... You forgot to mention that you love kittens and crave world peace, though.

Noodles: Oh yes. "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens... Brown paper packages tied up in strings." The latter is usually my 40 in a bag. (Laughing.) I am gonna come across as a lush.

Derek: 'Sokay... I got your back.

Noodles: Oh, good.

Derek: All right... Now come the REALLY tough questions...

Noodles: Okie dokie.

Derek: You have been my lovely and talented assistant on a few of my ventures in investigative reporting--most notably, the Pop-Tart article. Have you ever thought about writing humor of your own? You've got the sense of humor for it, Gawd knows.

Noodles: First off, thank you for the compliments. I enjoyed the Pop-Tart experience... I have thought about writing. When I was younger and now on occasion I do write. It is usually poetry and it is usually serious. I reckon I never tried to write something humorous... Wait, I take that back. I did write a little number in High-School called "Temporary Leprosy." I forgot about that until now. However, the only copy is in the hands of a high school friend with whom I have lost contact. I also helped him in the collaboration of "Heinous Goddess," an ode to a controlling, unlikable and not very attractive girl in our class. It poked fun at her personality more than her looks. There is more substance in that. Poking fun at personality flaws rather than physical ones It is more profound.

Derek: Of course. Beyond that, physical flaws are always a touchy subject because there's not one of us that is absolutely perfect. And personality flaws offer more comedic situations.

Noodles: Right. And I was never one in school to pick on anyone. I was the kid that got along with everybody and actually couldn't tolerate seeing others being hurt.

Derek: Same here, although I was forced into the occasional scrap... Not very often, though.

Noodles: Hmm. Not me. I never got into a fight.

Derek: Good to hear. You don't strike me as a particularly violent person. But you know what they say... Gotta watch the quiet ones...

Noodles: Rrrright. I try to fight the good fight. You have to pick your battles not the other way around. It's all about temperance.

Derek: Well put. Now, let's see... Tell me something painfully embarrassing that you've not told a lot of people. (Readers love this stuff.) If you can't think of anything offhand, just make something up. But don't say it's made up. We can let the readers wonder... Feel free to weep openly, like you're on a Barbara Walters Special...

Noodles: Hmmm... Picture it... Clark's Green... Summer 1995... Me, drunk with my friends... I went to bed.... Just kidding. There is more to the story than that. It was probably the first time I was ever REALLY drunk. I did go to sleep and my friends continued to drink in the living room. I awoke in a drunken stupor and decided I had to excrete liquid waste. I made my way to "the bathroom"... I had shut the door, and assumed the position. I was just about to let "the Mississippi" of alcohol flow out of me when my friend Paul opened the door and grabbed me and said, "This is the closet, not the bathroom!!" I wandered out (with my pants up) and my friends were having a nice big laugh at my situation and condition. Just a note: the real bathroom was just ONE door down from my room. So my friends just have watched me go into the closet with a "What-the-hell-is-she-doing?!?" look on their faces. Another key element was in the story the "toilet" was a laundry basket filled with winter apparel like gloves and scarves...

Derek: (Laughing.) You know, it's amazing how many people I know who have an "I-Almost-Went-To-The-Bathroom-In-The-Clothes-Hamper" story... And there's quite a few about doing it in the closet, as well...

Noodles: (Laughing.) Cool. Yes, luckily I was stopped from actually doing my duty...

Derek: Okay, a more serious question: What sorts of things do you think have contributed to your personality?

Noodles: Well, I think part of my wackiness definitely comes from my father...He used to roll up the windows in the car on a 90 degree day and crank on the heat. Then he would say, "Let's see how long we can stand it." Maybe it brain damaged me.

Derek: Nah... You seem relatively stable to me--although there might be some question as to who I am to judge such things... What (or who) else has had an influence on you?

Noodles: but as far as serious parts of me... My parents split when I was 3 and a half. So I had to become independent/self-sufficient rather early. My Mom has had a great influence on me. She is one of the most wonderful, brilliant people I have ever known. She has taught me a lot about compassion and acceptance. She is beautiful...

Derek: I'm sure she'd be proud to hear you say that.

Noodles: Why, thank you.

Derek: Okay, just a few more questions... You're a twin. Did this cause any problems for you when you were growing up? My brother and I used to look a bit alike, and that caused no end of trouble for me because he was the fightin' type...

Noodles: Hmmm... Well, there is the question of good twin/evil twin. But my sister and I are very much alike. Twins do develop their own language when they are little that no one else can understand. We did have that. As far as problems, none per say. We did pull a switcharoo on a teacher (I told you about this) in geometry class. We swapped names on our test. The teacher didn't notice even though we had been in her class for six months! We never did play pranks on people, although I regret that now. It could have been fun.

Derek: Hindsight...

Noodles: Yes, so true.

Derek: What's your overall philosophy of life?

Noodles: Good question... "Seek your bliss." I think that one should be content and happy. Yes happiness is what everyone is seeking, I believe. I was taught the golden rule as a child by my mother: "Do unto others, as you would have done to you..." That is excellent advice. The world would be a better place if more people followed that. I can't say enough about humor. It can be a wonderful healer and it can bring people together...I sound like a hippie...Well, maybe I am... I would hug the world if I had arms big enough.

Derek: Awwwww... It could probably use it about now.

Noodles: That is true.

Derek: What is your favorite quote, and who is it from?

Noodles: Wow, you should be a talk show host... Hmmm. That's a tough one... Hang on.

Derek: I don't have the obligatory hair helmet most talk show hosts do.

Noodles: (Laughing.) But you have the mind of a talk show host---I am really going to have to think about that quote.

Derek: Take your time... While you're thinking about it, any last things you want to say to anyone who might happen to read this?

Noodles: Yes... "The proof IS in the pudding..." And don't forget to brush.

Derek: (Laughing.) Well said.